Excellence to Eminence

Don’t give up! Recovering from life’s “splats"

Values: Accountability

When you hit a roadblock, it’s understandably discouraging – no one likes to falter. But it’s not the roadblocks that stop you, it’s how you choose to react.

In his book, Monday morning motivation: five steps to energize your team, customers, and profits, David Cottrell tells this story to illustrate what can stop people from achieving success:

A man meets a guru on the road and asks “Which way is success?” The bearded sage doesn’t speak, but points to the left. The man thrilled by the prospect of quick and easy success, rushes off. Suddenly, there’s a loud SPLAT!

Eventually, the man limps back, tattered and stunned, assuming he took the wrong turn. So he repeats his question to the guru, who again points silently in the same direction. The man obediently walks off, and this time there’s a deafening SPLAAAT!

When the man crawls back, he is bloody, broken, and irate. “I asked you which way to success!” he screams at the guru. “I followed your direction, but all I got was splatted – twice! No more pointing! Talk!”

Only then does the guru speak, very quietly. “Success is that way. Just a little past splat.” (p. 159-169*).

I like this story because it emphasizes that, as much as we don’t like them, some “splats” are inevitable. We have to remind ourselves that it’s OK, and even expected, to fail sometimes. In fact, a leader once said he wanted our team to fail – he said that, if we don’t occasionally fail, we’re not trying hard enough.

The challenge some people have is letting the splats change their direction, or even stop them. And it’s easy to let that happen. But if you have a positive mindset, you can move past the splat – and reach success. It’s not always easy to do that, so here are a few ways to move yourself to the right frame of mind:  

• Be accountable. Acknowledge what happened and your role in it, ask yourself what more you can do, and focus on finding solutions rather than blame.
• Move up the mood elevator. Don’t stay on the lower floors for too long. Move toward curiosity, and think about what you learned from the experience and how you’ll do things differently.
• Assume positive intent. If another person contributed to your splat, remind yourself that it most likely wasn’t intentional. Don’t forget to assume positive intent with yourself, too.

Now that you’re in a positive mindset – try again!! Armed with new knowledge and some experience under your belt, you’re bound to get further than you did the last time!

*Cottrell, D. (2009).  Monday morning motivation: five steps to energize your team, customers, and profits.  New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

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Posts: 1

Thanks!
Reply #2 on : Fri March 25, 2011, 11:59:13

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Thanks for your feedback! I will pass that along to the people who facilitate the retreats. The "Be Kind" concept is part of many things we talk about in a retreat, but there may be ways to make it more apparent. It's a basic thing, but we can all benefit from reminders.

In the situation you mentioned, it would have been much more helpful for you if the student had offered strengthening feedback as a participant/ supporter/ coach rather than criticizing as an observer/ critic/ judge. When you have the opportunity to hear comments like that directly, have you found an effective way to shift the person’s mindset to a positive one, and not let it affect your mood? If so, please share - we will unfortunately continue to run into people like that, and any tips on getting ideas you can put into action, and how to prevent it from bringing down your mood are helpful.

In the meantime, focus on the constructive comments, and know you are doing what you can to create a positive environment - change begins with the individuals!

Anonymous
Posts: 1

Re: Don’t give up! Recovering from life’s “splats"
Reply #1 on : Thu March 10, 2011, 15:21:41

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Excellence to Eminence comment:

I have been to the retreat. I think we are missing something critical. What about the simple advice "Be kind to one another."

And this goes for students too. I just got back course evaluation comments. One student wrote "That was the most boring lecture I ever attended." And this was a graduate student in one of the health professions. That is an example of a statement that is not constructive. The student could have written (as another did)
This same material could have been covered in a handout.
Lets remember we are all human beings and a little kindness goes a long way.

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